Q. Do you work here?

A. Am I behind the counter (a dead give-away)? Am I carrying around a large stack of books and no purse or backpack? That'd be an "Unh-huh."

Q. What are your hours?

A. Monday-Saturday, 10 am to 9 pm CST; Sunday, noon to 5 pm.

Q. Is this a library?

A. No. Avol's is a used-book store. As opposed to a used bookstore (well, that, too).

Q. Are these books for sale?

A. That's the idea.

Q. Are these all used books?

A. Basically, yes. We do carry remaindered books, which are in essentially new condition, and review copies, which are not only new, but in some cases not yet released to the public.

Q. How many books do you have?

A. About 100,000.

Q. Have you read all of them?

A. No. At a book a day, that would take about 125 years. We are working on it, however.

Q. Where are the prices?

A. On the back of the last white page.

Q. Can I get any brand-new books here?

A. We carry a few new books in especially high demand, and can order most new books at a 25% discount!

Q. Are all your books on the computer?

A. No; about 10% of our books are entered in the database.

Q. Do you sell books on the Internet?

A. Yes. See abebooks.com/home/avols/. We also list our books on Amazon and Alibris.

Q. Can I buy one of those neat Bukowski bumper stickers from you?

A. By all means (that is to say, using some form of currency); right here.

Q. Can you tell me how much a really old book I have is worth?

A. Only if you are interested in selling it to us. Otherwise, go to Abebooks, Amazon, or another used-book site, and look up books in the same edition and condition as yours to get a rough idea of the retail price.

Q. I can't remember the title or author, but can you find the book I'm looking for?

A. It's been known to happen.

Q. I can't remember the title or author, but it was blue, with a yellow ducky on the cover.

A. I'm afraid not; sorry.

Q. Do you have any Westerns or romance novels?

A. Not if we can help it.

Q. Do you have any science fiction, fantasy, horror, or mysteries?

A. Yes, indeed! We ourselves are big fans of the above. Don't forget to check out our $1.00 Bargain Books. We also carry RPG books and graphic novels.

Q. Do you carry any magazines?

A. We carry Avery ($10.00), R0sebud ($8.95), Hummingbird: The Magazine of the Short Poem ($4.00), The Madison Review ($5.00), Wisconsin People & Ideas ($5.00), The Deronda Review, and Free Verse (free, natch), Illuminations, Mobius, Plankton, Ugly Accent, and Cup of Poems (also free).

Q. Do you carry any newspapers?

A. We have the Wall Street Journal, at least as long as one keeps getting delivered to us by mistake. Other newspapers are available in the kiosks across the street. The Onion, which we highly recommend, is free, and generally available, with other free local papers, in our entry foyer.

Q. Is this A Room of One's Own, the feminist bookstore?

A. No. Room is one block further up toward the capitol, on West Johnson St. If you mistake us for any other area bookstore, you are considerably more confused than the average UW freshman.

Q. Where are the required textbooks for my class?

A. Not here. Probably at Room of One's Own. Or at Rainbow Books, on West Gilman St.

Q. Didn't you used to be over on Gilman?

A. Yes. We moved to this location in March 2004.

Q. What happened to Canterbury?

A. Their bookstore became Avol's in March 2004. The Canterbury Inn, upstairs, closed in March 2006 and is being converted to luxury efficiency apartments. Not an oxymoron. You'd have to see them.

Q. What happened to Dancing Grounds café?

A. It closed in February of 2005.

Q. What's in the part where the café used to be?

A. Bookworks, owned by Peter Dast, another bookstore that specializes in rare and collectible books and hardcover first editions.

Q. Does Richard Avol still own Avol's?

A. No. Richard retired up north to open another used bookstore. We're using the word "retired" pretty loosely here.

Q. Who owns Avol's now?

A. Ron Czerwien. We dare you to try to pronounce "Czerwien" without assistance.

Q. Why isn't Avol's called Czerwien's?

A. This is a great mystery. Pronunciation capabilities within the population at large may play a significant rôle, however.

Q. How do you pronounce "Avol"?

A. "Av-" as in "save" + "-ol" as in "y'all."

Q. How do you pronounce "Czerwien"?

A. "Sir" + "win."

Q. Will you buy my books?

A. We will look at books and make an offer on the ones we want, depending on what they are, their condition, and whether we have copies already. It's best to leave books for a couple of days to give our buyer a chance to go through them. Store credit is a better deal than cash; cash for books is not always an option.

Q. Will you carry the new book I have written?

A. Not unless you're a local poet, in which case we will buy 2 copies outright.

Q. Can my group meet in your store?

A. We have a meeting room available; check with us to find out whether the room is already booked.

Q. When is the children's storybook hour?

A. Tuesdays at 11 am, in the castle (yes, Virginia, there really is a castle!).

Q. Where can I park?

A. Out in front of the store if you're lucky, or in the lot by Uno's, or in the ramps by MATC and behind the Overture Center. Meters are aggressively checked Monday-Saturday 8 am–6 pm.

Q. Can I get change for the meter?

A. Yes.

Q. Do you have a rest room?

A. Yes.

Q. What time is it?

A. There's a big clock right over the entrance.

Q. Is this where I check out?

A. If you're standing where you can see both the clock and the Rest Rooms sign, yes.